There’s this song by Tamar Braxton ‘Love and War’. It is one of my favorite songs. Her amazing range throughout the ballad raises goosebumps over my skin. The lyrics justifies my way of fighting. Like the infamous quote, “All is fair in love and war.” My words were like missiles piercing the clear skies of my victims souls. Shock waves go through their minds and emotions as I pluck away understanding and compassion from their finger tips. Over the years I have watched people crumble from the aftermath of my defense. My temper tantrums disturbs the peace like earth quakes. BOOM! There goes an after shock to settle uneven grounds. These are not actions I am proud of. My unruly behavior have cost me some meaningful relationships in the past. Your future wife was (emphasis on was) a force to be reckoned.
I am learning to fight fair. Holding my peace or shall I say “piece” is the ultimate goal. The taste of “self-righteousness” has become my comfort zone. My love to be right has become a barrier. I’ve come to the terms that if you’re not careful. That love to be right will trump the love for your counterpart. I clearly don’t want that to be our case. Fighting fair is all about relinquishing your right to be right. Timing, touch, and tone have been my sanctuary. The touching part I have down pact (smile). It’s just that timing and tone I’m struggling with. Can’t seem to use those cohesively within a disagreement. The way I play things out in my head. Most definitely doesn’t occur in reality.
Pride is some areas doesn’t hold me hostage. Admitting that a problem lies within is easy for me. The grueling part is surrendering it completely. Laying it down at His feet and not wanting to pick it back up again is pure anguish. However, I am addicted to growing and being uncomfortable. My defensive skills doesn’t compare to my God’s. His humble pie is rather, tasty when you’ve been starved by pride for long. Growing up physically is mandatory but growing up mentally is optional. Becoming a better Christian woman is important to me. I want to be spirit lead. My endeavors are to be that backbone. When things become bleak; being able to push through mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually will rely on my victories right now. My momentum is being built up at this very moment. The mustard seed faith is growing to move more than just mountains baby. We both are believing in things that requires an Abraham type faith and patience.
I’ve been asking God about you and my neglected friend patience. Since we’re one and all. I’d figure if I’m going through a patience process. Well, buckle your seat belt baby so are you. We are going through a patience process. He knows you will need it with me. I have a tendency to allow my passion to rule me at times. Patience and faith will be one of the pentacles of this relationship love.
“Dear Lord, I pray for my future husband and his walk with you. Today let patience become a bosom friend and known quality of his. Let him bite from this spiritual fruit often. Allow it to digest within his soul becoming a familiar taste in his mouth. Our paths will cross when you say it’s time Abba Father. In the meantime you’re allowing patience to become a foundation for us both. You, are most patience with us and extending that to each other should be our pleasure. I pray that patience joins the crowds of love, compassion, forgiveness, kindness, and gentleness when we meet.
When anger spears its ugly head throughout our time being single and married. Bring to remembrance our friend named Patience. Let sweet words flow from his lips like living waters. Impeccably speaking life into not just himself but those that are connected to him. Elevate his communication skills to perceive when to speak and when to listen. Stir up keen discernment to operate and steer the timing, tone, and touch system. Give him the strength to embrace patience to walk on a contentious path of wisdom. I call forth the heart of David to fall upon him. The faith of Abraham to calm him. The favor of Joseph to multiply his finances. The acceleration of Jonah to kick start him. Most of all the compassion of Jesus because I will work every nerve you created in him.