I come to you with a heart of repentance. Create in me Lord a clean heart and renew the right spirit in me. Father, I want less of me and more of you. Cleanse me with your consuming fire. I know I am not perfect but I serve a perfect God. It has only been through your grace and mercy that I’ve gotten this far. I was a fish out of water, until you placed me in a pool of your everlasting love.
Daddy God, I am so thankful that you reached down with your righteous hand and saved me from myself. As I look over chapters of my life. I see much happiness but more pain. Some of that pain was inflicted by others but majority of it came from my own hands. I’d like to say I know the face of rebellion because I wore that mask well. I am now bearing the consequences of my long reign of rebellion.
Scars of my
rebellion inevitably forces me to see that I am further than most but behind by many. Your faithful servant Paul writes in
2 Corinthians 10:12, “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.”
Although, I am fully aware of what has been written. My humanity struggles to break through like the sun on a gloomy day. I tend to remember the crowds I surrounded myself with. We all had one thing in common instant gratification Nothing good has yet to come from that common denominator. My potential was so dim then from my unfocused perspective. Now, that I have been forgiving and truly living (in my Erica Campbell voice LOL) I’m trying to run faster to play catch up. I often feel so behind mentally, financially and spiritually. Lord, you knew before I was born that I would feel like this. That I would come to you in hopes of sealed instructions and directions. God, I ask that you order each and every step that I take. Help me to discern the difference between my voice, Your voice and the enemies voice.
I no longer desire to feel left behind or forgotten. I know and understand that you are creating the spirit of patience within me. I am observing the way you are opening and closing doors daily in my life. My patience seems to always be the test I take daily. There are times that I pass with flying colors and other times I fail epically. Each day I try again. I love the learning process you continue to keep me in. Not only am I understanding myself, the most rewarding part is I’m creating a covenant relationship with you.
This is the year of promotion, acceleration, and the double. I have already seen your hand move tremendously in my life and it’s only March. I was promoted before I even started my new job and now placed in accelerated programs. I am beyond thankful for the promises you have fulfilled and excited for the others. I heard for decades that you were not a man that you should lie, nor the son of man that you shall repent. Now, from first hand I can say this with a testimony attached.