I find myself going through a transition period in my life. You are forcing me to scan through all that I call a friend. At first it was a task that was difficult and painful for me to bear. I even turn away from the test because the fear of being alone is more terrifying than relying on you. In the midst of this leap of faith a certain individual comes to mind. God you blessed me years ago with a friendship like no other. I can honestly say our friendship mimicked the special bond between David and Johnathan.  And foolishly I dealt treacherously and carelessly with it. I would love to blame it on immaturity but that would steer me away from the accountability that needs to be taken. 

Walking on this purposeful course you have me on; has not been easy but I have recognized it must be done. Taking heed to your directions and instructions is a courageous thing to do. Especially, when you’re the only one determined to listen when all chaos continually breaks loose. Daddy God this person was a special made gift from you. When I went through my worst moments she was there. Incidents that I would love to erase; her comforting words were like a sail carrying me through the storm. Oh, how I look upon those days with downcast eyes wishing I had appreciated such a friend.

During my reign of terror I shot pyro setting words that put years and distance between us. Although, we didn’t speak. I’m grateful for the compassion you graced me with to take joy in her triumphs. I remember the days we discussed our dreams, hopes and fears. Each step she took to her destiny I looked on from afar rooting her on. I strategically asked about her to confirm she was well and happy. Even when her name was mentioned I took pleasure silently in saying, “I once knew her and called her my best friend.” I miss the sweet and caring counsel she gave. Even if I received her infamous sound effect that proceeded after something I completely disagreed with. Father I look to your word to acknowledge her good deeds during our friendship. In Proverbs 27:9 Solomon says,

“Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from Her (my own emphasis) earnest counsel.”

Lord, you blessed me with my very own lighthouse to focus on when things got rough. She was a better creation of the Eiffel Tower that stood strong during our high winds. Although, our friendship will never be the same. Through her absence you have taught me the value of  a friend. I have truly learned to choose carefully the words I speak to the ones I love. I embrace the wisdom and discernment you have set upon me to recognize the situations where your hand is needed. Even though I regretfully put a wedge between us you have woven together a perfect mistake that I gratefully know you have turned into good.

I’m in awe of her forgiveness towards me. I even feel I don’t deserve it but you’re still blessing me through her in such a way. Gazing through the eyes that are blurred with the same tears of the dreams, hopes and fears we once spoke of. Your presence then is still cherished now and your absence conquers me to be a better person. Father God I ask for you to continue to bless her on the journey you placed her feet on. As always I’m rooting you on from afar and I can’t wait to see you soar like the eagle you are.

~Amen