Since I could remember I have always wrestled with perfection. This desire grew with age. If I didn’t accomplish my definition of perfection I would literally have a breakdown and feel like a failure. My perspective was tainted by false expectations of what perfection really was. Now, I have discovered that my high anxiety is attached to this false sense of superbness.
Fast forwarding to now, growing into two mantles I have once again found myself striving for flawlessness. This has created unnecessary turmoil inwardly. Constantly, thinking that I am falling short is not in the back of mind but on my mind. Trying to fit the “image” of what I thought a prophet should look like and how a teacher should speak. Became taxing mentally, physically, emotionally and most of all spiritually.
Although, good reports of my growth rolled in from my mentor, coach and peers. I still felt inadequate in this new found space. Preparing to strive for perfection relinquished my ability to thrive in grace. Finally, granting myself grace to grow, where there was once fear; confidence is now emerging. Becoming and remaining authentic, transparent and vulnerable requires for us to extend grace to ourselves. This can become challenging when you see things from the lens of perfection instead of excellence.
“Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3).
Striving for godly excellence is both healthy and rewarding. You find yourself flourishing in areas where your insecurities once lingered. There was a moment I desired badly to be the woman I was; post a traumatic incident back in 2017. She was such a confident, fearless and happy person. However, going back to a stage that once “seemed” perfect is harmful to my current growth. Although, that chapter in my life was amazing it was for that appointed time.
During, the phases of evolution the temptation to return to the old will arise. New glory, strength and grace is extended in each stage you evolve. It is imperative to understand that God meets you in the space that you’re in and uses it well. If you let him. Every chapter in your life will require a new you that seeks a different characteristic of God.
“Don’t minimize the powerful gift that operates in your life, for it was imparted to you by the laying on of hands of the elders and was activated through the prophecy they spoke over you. Make all of this your constant meditation and make it real with your life so everyone can see that you are moving forward.” (1 Timothy 4:14-15).
It is so important to not compare your gift or calling to someone else’s. This is a toxic trait and this mentality corrupts your gift. Dwelling within your true authenticity renders grace. Allowing you to produce ripe fruit in season. The measure of grace you give yourself to be flexible with, the less pressure to be perfect. Godly excellence is not just something you strive for it is also something that can be seen by others.
Traces of Gods fingerprints can be found throughout the works of excellence manifesting in your life. Your anointing depends on it. It’s activated once you give yourself permission to be you or better yet to see you the way the father does.
In this new decade/era let’s practice giving grace to others but also ourselves. Your life depends on it. More often than mentioned, we tend to be our hardest critics. Unknowingly, people are intimidated by the very potential we ignore. It’s time to position ourselves to be unlocked.
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” (Isaiah 43:19).
Everyday receive his fresh grace and then extend it. Fearlessly walk in your purpose and thriving in the very place he prepared for you. Take it easy on yourself. You are doing the best you can and growing according to his plan. Learn to flourish in chaos and be present during your blessing seasons. The valley season never lasts for long nor does being at the top of the mountain. Rest assure during any season his victorious hand will forever guide and defend you.
I want to leave you with a scripture that I have chosen to decree and declare over my life for the next 365 days. I plan to flourish knowing that I am anointed for this!
“She will not live in fear or dread of what may come, for her heart is firm, ever secure in her faith.” (Psalms 112:7)
Love Always,
LaToya Déshawn
