After, completely submitting myself to God I honestly thought things would change in seconds for me. Lacking the true depths of his works. I wanted him to be more of a microwave God. I quickly became discouraged often in every aspect of my life. Specific questions I thought needed answers swiftly I didn’t receive; so I became angry with God and became my own personal vigilante over my life. Instead of using the tools faith, prayer, and patience that he has planted inside each and every one of us I took matters into my own hands. By doing so I caused more destruction in my life than ever before.
Dealing with any type of relationships without God is difficult. Especially, if you’re playing vigilante. I figured I messed it up so that means I need to fix it. The more I tried to fix things the more I crippled them in becoming better. Eventually, I had pushed everybody away. I found myself in this box asking God “Why did you allow this to happen?” Then I realized this wasn’t God’s doing. My vigilante ways caused this. Instead, of having faith in his timing and being patient I became Lord over my own life and missed the real picture.
Often, we find ourselves lost when things go dim. After, graduation I found myself searching for my next step. Trying to impress people who I honestly didn’t care for. Jumped from one occupation to the next thinking that its all about the experience. Indeed I ran into a wall. Once again I was playing vigilante. I took Route 6, made a left on Lost Lane and ended up in God told you he had you village.
Trusting God is difficult but it’s a necessity to walk in your purpose. Playing vigilante over own life will only cause you to come full circle to what God had already said. Then the trusting him process starts over. God has an incredible sense of humor. He will continue to send you the same situation until you figure out the biggest part of the picture. It’s not in you.