I’ll be 32 in 4 short months. The last 8 months I have purposely fallen under the thumb of gratitude. I went through a very humbling experience and I remember just asking God to grant me much needed wisdom and patience. I quickly discovered to be careful for what you pray for. Instead of gaining the wisdom and patience. I was dropped in a plentiful amount of situations where both attributes were strengthen. From my dating chronicles, dance ministry, friendships, job endeavors and spiritual growth I encountered scenarios where wisdom and patience were the answers. Before my 31st birthday I had did yet another Proverbs challenge. I figured hey since I’m inquiring wisdom, what’s better than re-reading the book of Proverbs to gain some much needed perspective. I just love and I mean love when I get to the 31st chapter. It’s all about that desired Godly woman I hope to be. The many times I’ve read that passage I always, always gain something new from it. This time it was Proverbs 31:25,
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”
30 was such a trying year for me. Being unemployed for over a year, coping with the loss of my beloved Granny, and trying to weave a thread through my ailing broken heart from yet another failed relationship (situationship) I was beyond in need of repair. In hindsight all I needed was some gratitude. Proverbs 31:25 began to point me in the right direction. I needed a renewed mindset and fresh grounds to step on. Wisdom and patience was key. Turning 30 made me want to rush everything. I immediately felt old when I transitioned into my 30’s. I convinced myself that everything that I had hoped for was slipping through my fingers. I regretfully started to believe that I wasn’t where I needed to be. God had surely forgotten me. All my past sins has surely blotted out the blessings God had intended for me. First thing first I needed to forgive myself and accept that God had already did the same.
She is clothed in strength and dignity. Year of my 31 was destined to be a year of nothing but gratitude. I made it a goal everyday to find God in everything and everyone. Then give thanks for it all. I started to see how omniscient He truly was. I found myself grateful for EVERYTHING! My sad and despair horizontal view metamorphosis into this vertical view. Finally, I was viewing things the way my creator ordained it to be. I began to live in each moment. I suddenly felt fear lift from the anxious thoughts and actions crippling me to smile. My faith had been restored and this new redeemer could now say so. From November 24, 2015 to present. I can see a new and improved me. My patience is growing and my wisdom is sharpening. It took a lot of discipline but this liberating feeling of happiness, peace and joy was well worth it.
Now, 4 months shy of my 32nd birthday. I no longer feel the need to rush marriage and family woes (both God confirmed and promised). I can honestly say that the memory of Lois Evelyn lives on daily. Which unexpectedly draws a smile to my face. I’m freed from ungodly relationships and I have truly been yielding to the the perfectly scripted words of wisdom. She is so patience and yet stern with me. Wisdom is shaping me into this Proverbs 31 woman in my 31st year at the right pace. She is equipping me for what is next to come. Her treasures are truly more valuable than gold and silver. When I feel the need to rush something I can feel her tug at me and whisper,
“I am that I am…….I’m all that you need.”
31 for 31 is more than just an age and a scripture but yet a lifestyle. You have to work at it everyday. You have to train your sight and hearing to know that wisdom and patience is everywhere if you would just stop, now smile.