Today I allowed the spirit of complaining and murmuring to take over. From the moment I opened my eyes till now I haven’t stopped complaining. There were moments I tried to stop but it was like word vomit. Every word was easing down the murmuring road. Daddy God, I ask for you to forgive me. The infamous words of David is ringing in my soul, “Create in me Lord a clean heart and renew the right spirit in me.” I know when I succumb to these feelings and thoughts; I’m either doubting you and/or ungrateful. I know you despise murmuring and complaining. You turn a deaf ear to it and yet I continued to do it. I even found myself resenting the very thing you blessed me with.
Going back to an old devotion. I find myself behaving in the most foolish way and mimicking the infamous and stubborn Israelites. In Numbers 11:1 it says,
“And the people grumbled and deplored their hardships, which was evil in the ears of the Lord, and when the Lord heard it, His anger was kindled; and the fire of the Lord burned among them and devoured those in the outlying parts of the camp.”
I humbly ask for you not to get angry with me and turn a deaf ear to my prayers. Even worse I fear your deafening silence that I just can’t bear. This is truly a season that I want to be open to your directions and instructions so I can take heed to them immediately. Father, I am your humble servant and I am listening. I needed your strength yesterday, today and forever more. I cannot do this thing called “life” without your presence near. I was created to worship and praise you with every fiber in my being. There is no life apart from you.
Today I didn’t follow instructions. I didn’t properly use the armor of God to my advantage. My faith was weak which allowed me to speak doubtful words not only over my life but others. In your word Lord you said, “When the enemy comes in like a flood. You will raise up a standard against him.” I regretfully took manners into my own hands. Instead of allowing the battle to be yours I tried to fight it out of my own strength and failed. I will try again tomorrow with a different spirit and with you going before me. I will allow you to direct my path and the Holy Spirit to control my tongue. With you all things are possible and I will conquer the day tomorrow as I have done before. In your name I pray.