So, the last time we connected I was so free indeed, embarking and embracing my newly recognized freedom!  I find it to be no coincidence that the very thing that God has purposed and confirmed me to do; to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound.” Is the very battle that I continue to face. I also find it to be no coincidence that in the same season where promises are to come to pass, I feel the most resistance. Clearly, I’m in a fight for my freedom.

A lot of times we assume that the battles we will face consists of external trials and tribulations. However, our biggest encounters are internal, fighting against ungodly thought patterns and behaviors–spiritual warfare as we know it. I used to think that disobedience to God was solely about a list of rights and wrongs. Oh, how wrong my assumptions were, as assumptions typically are defined to be.

As I travel through this season of “God, you told me my purpose, but what does ‘that’ look like and what is next and why am I feeling so much resistance!?,”I’m realizing that my disobedience is not the result of saying “yes” to those big “don’ts,” but it exists every time I say, “not yet” when prompted to move or when I fall into the trap of an unstable mindset… unstable as in a deficiency of faith. Because faith comes by hearing the word of God, anytime our thoughts or actions don’t line up with what God says concerning us, it is an indication that there is a level of unbelief that exists within us. A level I am completely uncomfortable and most recently frustrated with.

If you’ve ever asked God to reveal those things that are in you that are not like him, or to push you into your purpose, or to walk in the fullness of who He has called you to be, then it’s a good chance that the feelings that I’m attempting to explain, you understand. You understand the feeling of knowing you’re called, yet experiencing blockage. Then you understand the feeling of your spirit thirsting after God, but resistance knocking you every direction like a rag doll, in attempt to delay your progress. So, of coarse you understand the frustration with self for allowing the enemy to distract you despite the fact God has already revealed his devices to you. Please tell me you understand!

I’m not the only one feeling as if I’m in a spiritual whirlwind of unstable emotions simply because I have chosen not to view things through the eyes of my Father. It’s like preparing for a fight in a boxing match for months, studying your opponent who you are more powerful than in every area, and then allowing him to knock you out with one punch. At this very moment, I’m still trying to understand why we give the enemy temporary satisfaction, allowing him to distract and discourage us from the things that are rightfully ours.

Sounds like a little condemnation? I call it a spiritual self-check. Or at least I’m checking myself as I reveal my heart to you. We study, we pray, we fast, we consecrate ourselves from those things that are deadly to our perseverance in the Kingdom. Yet, the moment we experience a little push-back from the purpose-killer, our advisory, we begin to become exhausted, deflated, lazy in our walk, and even surprised. Do we really believe the enemy is going to allow us to just walk into our land of milk and honey without his familiar tactics!? The very moment that we even think we are being spiritually attacked, it is necessary for us to speak life and use our weapons of warfare (2 Corinthians 10:3-6).

It’s even more necessary that we continue to “Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses” (1 Timothy 6:12). F I G H T! is the word that is on replay in my spirit, because that’s exactly what we do daily and what we must continue to do as we run towards our divine purpose.

We are told to fight as a forewarning that we will experience resistance anytime we are chasing after God. Especially, when we are so close to walking in the fullness of who He has called us to be. But we must fight hard and do it will zeal, love and faith. We must do it knowing that clearly, we are running in the right direction. If the enemy is on his job attempting to find the tiniest opening to retract our steps towards greatness.

We are ordained to be Queens…and Kings of course, and with that comes the expectations of righteousness, godliness, self-discipline, love, and faith. We’ve been promised that our enemies are defeated in front of us and the promises of God are upon us. So, I encourage my sisters and brothers to be bold, chin up, and fight hard through the struggle. Every season of misery qualifies us for our divine ministry! Let’s keep moving the only way we were created to move…and that’s vertical…and together!

As always, written in love!

–Jameela