Single Christian Girl in the City


I refuse to settle for someone that doesn’t share the same passion for God as I do. No amount of singleness will push me to the land of compromise.  My loneliness will not overpower God’s will for my life. Regardless, of the length of time it takes him to place me in the path of my destiny partner. I will wait and not interfere!

It is mentally and spiritually exhausting dating in the Christian ecosystem. Between the Backsliders, Cyber Christians, and the “Anointed”, dating can get tricky. With marriage being the greater goal than seeking God’s will; I should have expected a few bumps and curves.

I naively dove into this shallow pool of dating with high expectations. Assuming, that every Christian guy that I encountered will carry the same heart for God as I do. Now, I am no spiritual guru here. However, I do live by the saying, “God is my source and everything else is a resource.” I take dating extremely serious. Wasting my time or anyone else’s is unacceptable.

After, reading all of the dating books for women of faith. I surely thought I could navigate from heartbreak again. SIKE!! Let me tell you the pool is smaller and dirtier. I have become a conquest and my discernment has to be at an all time high. With majority of the men that approach me understanding that I have been celibate for more than three years. They are intrigued and curious to know how far I am going to go, how much they can spend, but we already know…zip zero!

During, the getting to know you process. It’s quickly discovered I take my relationship with God serious. With that being said, assumptions of my standards are created. Already, walking in my purpose and understanding my calling; apparently I am intimidating. Instead of desiring to add to what God is now doing in my life. The most perplexing thing occurs, dudes are real life lying about their own callings and purpose for us to be “compatible”. You read it here first people. There are liars in the church lol!

All jokes aside being your authentic self is hard for both sexes. The fear of rejection can cause anyone to do the unthinkable. Although, I am walking in the footsteps of my savior, being preyed on instead of prayed for is common. From day one of this single Christian girl journey, desiring a man that is spirit lead and that can properly cover me has been my prayer. Sounds simple huh? Well its not.

The mental games are still pretty relevant. The normal rejection impacted words are replaced with “God said.” Actually putting your faith on the table is easier said than done. From wanting to pray, read and chase God with your partner. Who would have ever thought it could become so messy? Avoiding the obvious has been my issue. Neglecting the early red flags has placed me in what should have been a stop sign but now a red light.

Everyone is dealing with something they dare not speak of and recovering from something that shouldn’t have happened. I get it. But don’t approach me until you’re healed and whole. Hurt people, hurt people and I am tired of being among the hurt. I took myself out of the hurting people fraction years ago. Y’all this is just exhausting and very much discouraging.

I’m in a real life hunger games here. May the odds be forever in my favor as I swerve the ulterior motive driven and the enemy sent counterfeit. Needless to say, my singleness season doesn’t out weigh what God has for me. I am so determined to fulfill my purpose now being single so I can graciously walk into my marriage purpose. The heartbreak and discouragement will not eclipse my faith in God to bring the destiny mate made particularly for me.

Mingling in the city anchored to my faith hasn’t been easy but rests assure it will all be worth it. One of my favorite scriptures reads, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose”(Romans 8:28). Since God is allowing my waiting season to last longer than expected; then it very well is going to be exceedingly and abundantly beyond what I could ever have imagined.

Love Always,

LaToya Déshawn ?



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