My Christmas list is full of some of the dopest and trendiest things ever. I usually get almost everything on it. Over the years the list has became smaller. I have realized that material things just can’t fill the void that I have at times. Roughly about two years ago I created a Spiritual Christmas list because I simply needed more than what the world could offer.

The holiday season tends to bring family and friends close. So technically I am never alone but I feel alone. Not the I need a man alone but alone in the space of “void” that I am currently in. The best way for me to explain it is by saying, “I feel inadequate in the world but strong in the Lord.” Does that make sense at all?
Probably not considering that its more than likely the most confusing and asinine thing you’ve ever heard.

I’m craving gifts that can’t fit under the Christmas Tree. Gifts that are wrapped up in confidence, peace, love, and happiness. Let’s not forget self-love because I lack that at times often. I purposely and genuinely put others before me. This loving act drains my anointing and energy. This Christmas I only want, no, I should say…..need a few spiritual things.

1. Godfidence
Like any normal person in the world. I have insecure days. Those days where I foolishly compare myself to others by the small pixels that create these “LIT” pictures, they showcase on social media. I mean these images have so much power. I can go into a temporary deep depression just over lies intertwined in filtered photos. This Christmas I just want a Godfidence out of this world. The type of confidence that speaks if you see me or hear about me. The kind that says, “She is loved by the most high and is enough!” I want to walk with this daily, but most of all feel like this always. I am the apple of His eye you know. I just have to believe and live it. I fail at times but I pray God graces me to have more of those days than the temporary deep depression ones.

2. Prayer Life
Have you ever seen that meme where the cats go into the closet and then the cats have been transformed into lions when they exit the closet, with the following saying, “This is how I look before entering into my prayer closet “the cats” and this is how I look when I exit my prayer closet “the lions”?” Oh that was just me? Okay cool, but I want to experience that type of transformation at least twice a week geesshh. Don’t get me wrong I can pray and I do pray often. But I’m a fan of the praying without ceasing way. You know the prayer while driving, cleaning, walking, bathing, and at the end of my nightly devotions. The longest I can pray is about 15-20 minutes flat. That’s with everything on my list from church, family, friends, country, city, me, and oh let me not forget my future husband (he’s kind of a big deal you know) hey boo. However, I want to go deeper and be more transparent with God. I just got comfortable telling my creator about some of my inner issue like envy (yes I get envious at times look at gift number one lol), my shortcomings, my slowly and forming gifts and callings. As if He doesn’t know already. But, hey I am human and I try to fix myself or worse pretend I don’t have them when it comes to telling God. Don’t want to be a burden sometimes. The best thing is one of His many names is “The Many Breasted One.” How could I not go and lay my head and pour out everything so He can make me new again? So yes this is on the list. The prayer life of a warrior and a worshiper.

3. Peace
Rather its a self inflicted or God sent I can’t stray away from a good chaos filled storm. Pending the storm I can dust it off and let it go. Sometimes the storm is so severe I’m literally knocked off my feet. I have gotten better over time but I still have those moments where I feel like life is COMPLETELY OVER!!! Yes, I’m just a tad bit dramatic. Many people say I worry too much but that’s foolish. I worry all the time. I overthink and analyze EVERYTHING! Bite me! Any who, I desire peace not just in the midst of chaos but during the everyday mishaps as well. That type of peace that can only come from the Prince of Peace. Actually, have you heard that song by Hillsong? That’s what made me want to chase peace the way I do now. The lyrics to the Prince of Peace, is so relaxing and it might bring you to tears pending your current natural and spiritual situation. If God can wrap up the type of peace that Jesus had while walking on water in the midst of a storm that He soon commanded to be still would be the best GIFT EVER! But I will settle for peace to quite the petty storms I create and the ones He allows as lessons.

I hope and pray my spiritual Christmas list has inspired you to create your own. Challenge you to end this year and begin 2018 chasing your destiny with every purpose filled step lead by God. I pray that your will aligns with His so you can be given all that your heart desires. I believe everyone reading this is worth that and more. Enjoy your holidays and I look forward to writing and sharing to you soon.

Love Always,

LaToya Déshawn