The Subtlety of a Frenemy


Have you ever noticed the subtle signs of a known frenemy? Those patronizing remarks they give that provokes your very being. The sarcastic undertone when asking how you’re doing, when they really don’t care. Or worst they hope bad news follows. That frenemy who likes a photo on social media every once and awhile to deceive you into believing; their still loyal to you. Ha! They even add an emoji declaring you cute but its jealousy and envy attached. You know, the frenemy you’re bound to because you only had one thing in common…..brokenness.

But then you became WHOLE!!!!

I know I am not the only one who’s spirit becomes uneasy when this person comes around. Their vibe alone makes you question why do you even bother. Every emergency siren goes off when they speak on a situation you regrettably shared.Your gut tells you constantly not to trust them. Best believe your gut is God telling you, “MAYDAY MAYDAY MAYDAY”.  Yet, you feel obligated to stay “friends” because of time and space. However, deep down inside the inner you has recognized and accepted the end of an era.

There are quite a few stories where certain individuals had to depart in order to receive blessings and to see things come into full fruition. Let’s name a few shall we? We have Abraham and his cousin Lott (oh please keep in mind a frenemy can come in the form of a family member as well), David and Johnathan (although Johnathan died at war. He was the son of Saul the enemy of David. Yet David loved him like a close brother and it grieved him very much when he got news of Johnathan’s passing. However, he had to go in order for David to claim the throne of Israel) and last but not least Paul and Barnabas (Both of their ministries benefited greatly once they separated.Both of them needed each other in the beginning but God had other plans).

Sometimes division becomes multiplication when destiny is at stake. In my best Bone Thugs N Harmony voice,“I see you at the crossroads, you won’t be lonely”. When it comes to God and my destiny whatever He says pickup, I do and whatever he says drop, I don’t think twice. I only have time to follow strategic instructions. That will lead to good health, prosperity and wisdom. The wrong people in your life are like bricks in your pocket when you are trying to swim. You are doomed and destined to go down.

If you are a Covenant Lifestyle subscriber you would know we are in the midst of the Proverbs Challenge. A month of growing in wisdom and in truth. If you haven’t subscribed I encourage you to do so. Any whooooo……..within the 12th chapter of Proverbs. We are taught that the wise choose their friends carefully. I wholeheartedly agree. Also, the wise cut off dead things when it is time. You have to tend and maintenance your garden often. Weeds just don’t look bad but cause damage from within.

Just for clarity I am not speaking of the friends that are busy or growing and you guys always miss each other’s calls. Life sometimes causes space and a brief pause with no maliciousness intended. These friends you can be on the phone with for hours and pick right back up from the last conversation months ago. Don’t confuse your Peter with your Judas within your circle. How about we go over some of the qualities of a frenemy so you can begin cleansing your circle.

  1. They don’t clap for you when you’re winning and only seem to appear when things are going bad.
  2. Can we say sneak diss!? Watch out for those I’m just playing comments following a low blow “joke”. 
  3. The lack of wisdom is prevalent. Their advice and actions lead you away from what the word instructs. 
  4. After talking or spending time with them. You feel completely drained and exhausted. 

I’m not sure if you’ve heard the new Jay-Z album 4:44? Of course you have it’s Hov!!! If you haven’t already read Jay-z and Drake are my favorite rappers. If you need more clarity on how I can serve Jesus and listen to them please click (Dear Future Husband,). As I digress the best rapper alive (this is not up for debate) has a verse that will change your life and cause you to start evaluating the “team” ASAP ROCKY. From the song Caught Their Eyes the lyricists says, “Memories may sneak down my cheek. But I could see a side-eye in my sleep”. Meaning you must exercise the good in good bye. The letting go and letting God in every situation will help you in the long run.

Please remember that it is essential to your mental health to let frenemies go. A lot of insecurities, reassurance, and validation will cease when you do so. Let’s grow in wisdom and in truth.




Relentlessly Pursue
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